Finding Dolphins
My husband is pretty ‘evolved’ as human beings go, which is lucky for me because that translates into a seemingly endless supply of patience in my direction, as well as some Yoda-like wisdom.
Like the nugget that he threw out the other day, as he was (patiently) trying to help me get from A to B in my kayak. I’m new to this water lifestyle, and while I love the idea of it, I’m finding the practice counter-intuitive. I’m an Aires girl after all, so my default is to work more and push harder to get wherever I’m going. Problem is, that doesn’t work so well when you’re on the water. More effort does NOT equal faster or better results. In fact, when you are in a kayak, the harder you paddle, the more you just kinda stand still (or go in circles). You can imagine my frustration….
So here I am, trying with all my might to get to the end of the canal. I am paddling so hard, but I am not making any progress away from the dock, and in fact I am not even traveling in a straight line! I seem mostly to just be going one inch left, then one inch right, over and over and over. Gahhhhhh! 15 minutes have passed, and I have barely made it to the neighbor’s dock. Max, on the other hand, is gliding ahead, already out to the mouth of the bay. Where I want to be! So I can see the dolphins!
He looks over his shoulder to check my progress, and even from way up there I can see the little smile that says, “You’re doing it again…” but to his credit, he doesn’t say a word, just turns around and pulls up to my side.
“You’re pushing too hard,” he says. Let the paddle do the work, you shouldn’t be using any muscles.” He then begins leading me through a series of little exercises meant to show me the right way to use the paddle (seriously, this guy’s a saint), while explaining that my goal should not be to go fast, but rather to go slow. This is seriously scrambling my Type-A brain.
“Look, when you push hard with your paddle, you are creating friction in the water which makes you unsteady. That’s why you aren’t getting anywhere.” No kidding.
“Remember that slow is steady, and steady is fast.”
Ahhhh, there it is. Another life lesson, courtesy of my hubby.
How true is that when it comes to all that we face during midlife and menopause? Whether we are struggling with health or relationships or our jobs or whatever, when we fight with or try to ‘speed up’ the natural currents of life and time we tend to bounce around and go in circles.
This can be so hard to get your head around, but the straight line from where you are to where you want to be is not through pushing harder or doing more. I’m talking here about desperately trying all the “things” – the quick fix of medications, the latest diet craze, working out 3 hours per day. Rather, it is the steady, incremental progress that carries you most directly to your intended destination – more quickly, with less effort, and far more joyfully than you thought possible.
After dropping this truth bomb on me, Max paddles away, literally into the sunset. But this time I took his lesson to heart and concentrated on feeling my way forward. I just let the water work its magic and what do you know, before long I found myself in a Zen-like state, effortlessly gliding straight out to the bay, slow and steady.
And there were the dolphins.
XO
d’Alene
P.S. If YOU need help getting from A to B when it comes to midlife health issues and menopause, reach out! I’ll be starting a new cohort of my Mastering Menopause course this Spring, and I’d love to see you join.